A new day dawns

I stayed up late last night watching the election news. An historic election. I was struck by the contrast of the people who gathered to hear the candidates speak one last time. The small McCain crowd was by invitation only at the exclusive Biltmore Hotel. Numerous times when McCain spoke there were cat-calls and boos when President-elect Obama's name was mentioned. In contrast, the large Obama crowd was gathered at a public park, open to any who wanted to be there. When he was speaking, the crowd was hushed and respectful, except near the end when it was echoing his "Yes, we can!".

I am hopeful for America for the first time in many years. Does the election of our first Black president mean that race prejudice is gone? I don't think so, but I believe it means that we are now able to look past a person's skin color to other qualities. Race prejudice will linger for a while longer like a brain-dead accident victim on life support. Someday, it will give up the fight and let go. We can help it by speaking out when we see and hear disparaging remarks and racial slurs.

Recently when I was in Houston, I stopped at a gas station. After a few minutes I became aware of an altercation going on between a white man and a black woman. I have no idea what precipitated the argument and in truth, that doesn't matter. What matters is the white man drove off while spouting vile and hateful racial epitaphs. To me, it doesn't matter what caused it to get started, there is no place in polite society for the phrases he used.

I've thought of that situation many times since then and wish that I had stepped up to tell him that he was out of line speaking that way. I think fear held me back at the time. I've wished that I had at least spoken to the woman to let her know that not all white people are like that. I didn't, but I'm hopeful for the future that such incidents will become fewer and fewer as we become a more respectful and soft spoken nation. I know it can be that way because I saw that last night as a man gave his first remarks as President-elect to a mixed race, mixed sex, mixed socioeconomic, hushed and respectful crowd.

Random thoughts on a beautiful Fall day

We took our annual October vacation a few weeks ago and I've been on the road since then. We visited the Olympic National Forest. An truly awesome place where one can feel what it might have been like 200 years ago. I want to go back. I will go back. I didn't post any pictures because there was no internet where we were. No phones in the rooms, no cell phone signal, no tv... just quiet and time to be alone with each other and our thoughts.

The election is a few days a way and I am so hopeful and fearful at the same time. America will be a very different place on November 5 ... well, actually January 20, 2009 (the end of an error and hopefully not the start of another error)

I fixed the bird feeder so that the squirrels could not get into it and boy are they pissed!!!

I planted tomatoes hoping for a Fall crop. The plants are healthy and blooming. But no tomatoes. I'm concerned that there are no pollinators (dead bee colony syndrome) and worry about what that would mean for all of the food sources across the world.

Found a bee in my kitchen and ever so gently captured it and released it on one of the tomato blooms.

Another Fall

I was up early and spent some time meditating on the patio and followed that with some yoga. I reflected on how Spring and Fall are my favorite times of the year. There is something about the quality of light and how it dapples through the trees that really touches me. The air feels different and there is a different energy in the air. In the Fall, it seems as if everything is slowing down, powering down, getting into hibernate mode. In the Spring, the energy feels different in that it seems as if everything is waking up, stretching and powering up.

Colors become more vibrant in the Fall as leaves and grass turn. My yard that was all green and brown (tree trunks) becomes more yellow, gold, and russet. Winter takes the color away and we are left with a world that is varying shades of gray with a little sepia.

In the Spring, things begin to green again. The perennials I've planted over the years start to bloom and I always add annuals.

One constant between the two seasons is the hummingbirds that frequent my feeders. Little bundles of green life flitting and hovering.

Fall is here

Sitting in my office and I look out the window and see falling leaves and a hummingbird at the feeder. It's Fall. The days are getting shorter. The weather is very pleasant. And I wonder ... why am I in here instead of out there?

Life is good

I haven't blogged in a while, but that means I've been busy with real life! LOL!

Life is good! Recently had 2 opportunities to socialize with 2 very different groups. One was my brothers and sisters in laws (not sure if that is the correct way to put it). We all met for "Brothers' Camp" ... 2 days of just sitting around talking, swimming and playing games. We were blessed this year by one of the SIL's who took the time to tell each of us the gifts that she feels God gave us. Very moving and touching.

The second came when out of the blue a lady that I worked with years ago called to see if I could play canasta. When we worked together we had a once a month canasta group, but once I left that job and started traveling, I had to leave. They needed a sub and I was in town. It was so great getting together with the group, catching up and remembering those who are no longer around. One lady had died, I knew that and attended her funeral 5 years ago. Another has developed Alzheimer's and is no longer able to play. I didn't know that. She was such a robust, a live woman, I hate to think of her decline.

Both occasions made me reflect on life and what is important. Not the flat screen TV and Wii, but the time my husband and I spent together shopping and looking and ultimately deciding. I enjoy the TV and the Wii, but I treasure the time he and I spent together.

Life is Good!

working on me

For sometime, I've been battling what I see as work-aholic behavior in myself. I'm trying to refocus energy away from such things as insisting that everything I do be perfect; being crabby when interrupted; not taking time off; not taking breaks, etc. I think I'm getting better at not putting all my energy in my job. The job is not who I am. In the long run, I will be with me much, much longer than I will be with the company for which I currently work.

Wii update

So I've been using the Wii for about a week now and I have to say that I LOVE IT!! There are some things that I don't like or that are a little too cutesy for me, but all in all it is great fun. I've learned through the body testing that I'm a little unbalanced, but have been playing those games that help with that so hopefully as my core muscles get tighter, my balance will improve. I like that it gives you "rewards" by unlocking other games/programs once you have gotten a number of points. I don't like that it goes "OH" each time it is checking my weight and tells me to step on the board. I wonder if it says that for everyone or just the people that are overweight? If I stay with it ... I'll find out!!

Drumroll ... It's a Wii !!!

In my lastest efforts to get moving and hopefully get in shape, I jumped off the deep end and purchased a Wii and Wii Fit. I'm excited about the possibilities! I especially like that it came with bowling and hope that it is somewhat fun. I used to love to bowl, but haven't in years because of hand problems. I miss it!

I need something to get me motivated when I'm not on the road and it's just too darn hot to walk outside.

Off to set it up!

Ow ... I say again OW!!! surgery update

I had surgery on my hand on Friday. All went well. Doc said the trigger thumb was the tightest he's seen in a long time and the tumor on my index finger took almost an hour to "tweeze" out. Fortunately, the tumor had not infiltrated the bone, but he scrapped the bone for good measure. OUCH. It had gotten into the joint and the tendon, but he believes he got it all. Pathology report should be available today to confirm that it was just a Giant Cell tumor and nothing else.

Things that surprised me

• the cast/splint that ran from my elbow past the tip of my index finger. This was to keep me from moving the finger AT ALL and trust me it worked. It weighed about 3.5 pounds
• the incisions were not straight but in a zig zag - Doc said it was to increase blood flow and encourage faster healing and talked about some study done by, I don't know, John Hopkins or the Mayo clinic. So instead of a 1 inch incision on the trigger thumb, I've got 2 inches in a v shape and instead of a 3 incher on my index finger, I've got about 6 inches in a ww pattern.
• it hurts - the trigger thumb doesn't, but the index finger does and not in a small way. This is the first day I've actually been able to even type with it. I accidentally banged it a few minutes ago and it took my breath away.
• stitches will be in for over 2 weeks - guess this should not surprise me since the index finger was cut to the bone

What didn't surprise me - my dear husband is simply a wonderful care giver - brushing my hair and even learning to braid it. Doing the dishes and driving me places, reminding me to wear my sling and to prop my hand up. Encouraging me to take the pain pills before the pain gets really bad. I try to be super woman and he reminds me that I cannot in fact do everything!

Another quote

This from a weekly email I get from a church I once attended:

German writer, Goethe: "If you treat a person as he is, he will stay as he is; but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be, he will become what he ought to be and could be."

Powerful thought that. I know the opposite is true having seen parents repeatedly tell their children how stupid they are and guess what ... the kids become stupid.

Chain emails - hate 'em

Chain emails, like chain letters before there was such a thing as email, always irk me a little and sometimes a lot. They always start out innocently enough with a prayer or good thoughts or encouragement to do a good dead. Then when you get to the bottom it's always "send this to 5 people before the end of the day"; or "send this to 10 people in the next 10 minutes." Then there's the thing that determines whether I'm irked a little or a lot. The ones that don't have this, then I'm only mildly peeved. It's always something forward this and "you will receive a blessing in the next 24 hours" or "you will your luck will get better" or, in the case of one I just received, "make 3 wishes, forward this to 10 people in the next 10 minutes and you will get your 3 wishes in the next 3 days". Yeah, right, sure I will. This is the part that I think is the most disturbing because it plays on a person's desire to be better, do better or get something for free. It preys upon those among us that are lonely, weak and vulnerable.

What I dislike most is the veiled message that a person is not worthy to be blessed or lucky or whatever unless they forward the email. The God that I believe in doesn't bless us based on whether or not we forward an email. We are blessed every day when we look at the blue sky and the green leaves on trees. We are blessed when we hear birds sing or smell the sweet scent of flowers. We are blessed because we live.

Another one

I just came across this one in a magazine. It's from actor Kathy Najimy,

• "What I wish for women is that they try to be spiritually and physically healthy and then -- whatever their size -- live their lives to the fullest. Jump out of airplanes. Have a Lover. Do the tango. Figure out what it is that makes you happy and do it. Don't spend your whole life trying to be what someone else says you're supposed to be."

Powerful reminder to be who we are.

Various sayings

As I sit here at my desk, I see several quotes and affirmations that I've gathered over the years. I've taped them around on my desk where I can see them. Most of them don't have names attached and I have no idea of where I got them from. Such as

• "The last step of any journey may be the first step of an even greater journey"
• "All you can do is the best you can and hope everything turns out all right in the end"

Some, on the other hand do have that info or I remember such as:

• "Do what you do so well that people seeing you do what you do will tell others they should see you do what you do" Walt Disney
• "Years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain - I first saw this engraved in large letters in stone in the lobby of an organization at which I was applying for a job. I didn't get the job, but I really like the quote.

And lastly, there is this one. It never ceases to make me smile or even chuckle out loud. That may mean I'm twisted somehow, but ... at least I laugh! I clipped this out of a travel magazine. The article was on trips to Antarctica and was warning people about some of the dangers. I have often wondered if this was written truthfully or if it was a joke.

• "Resist the urge to pet the cuddly penguins, which have no fear of humans and are given to unpredictable fits of horizontal projectile defecation."

I just love the mental picture of the seemingly formal penguin bending over as if it were bowing and suddenly "pa-ching"!

Trigger Thumb Surgery Update

My surgery has been rescheduled to July 11 due to the death of my surgeon's mother-in-law.

unexpected blessing

My latest business trip was canceled at the last minute ... literally just 2 hours from when I was due to get on the plane. It left me in a sort of limbo. I always get into this Zen like zone when I travel. A space where I don't let things bother me like they normally will. There are so many things at airports than can really tweak me off if I don't get into that zone. After I cancelled, I was like "yeah!!! I don't have to travel today!!!" but then felt I was in an odd place for the rest of the day.

Then last night as I snuggled back to back with my husband and my white cat snuggled up to my front so that I was in a sandwich of love ... I thought what a wonderful unexpected blessing it was that my trip was cancelled. I thought hard and long on how absolutely content and loved I felt at that moment. I'm hoping that I can hang on to that memory forever.

If it's not one thing ....

I FINALLY got into see the ortho doctor about my trigger thumb. It had locked up again back in April and I had to get the 3rd and last steriod shot in it. Next step and step of last resort is surgery. From what I heard, this doctor is worth the wait. I have to admit, I did love his "bed side" manner. He drew pictures of what was wrong and was very detailed about what needed to be done. He even insisted on giving me a bottle of water ... "Must keep hydrated in this weather" he said.

He also noticed this lump on my index finger. I had assumed that it was a calcium deposit where I had broken that finger once. But he said "Nope, it's not. Let's take a picture!" So he personally x-rayed my hand, personally developed the film and then showed me it was not a calcium deposit. The lump does have calcium spots in it so he said that was worrisome.

So, I'm scheduled for surgery next week to release my trigger and remove the tumor. I'll blog the results later.

The days just fly by

I remember when I was growing up, the grown-ups would say how fast the year, week, month, whatever went by. I never really understood that until I became a grown-up. The months just seem to flow by so quickly. My husband and I had an opportunity back in May to take a brief vacation. We traveled to Estes Park, CO. We had very limited cell phone coverage and no internet access ... ok, actually, if we had visited the coffee shops, we would have had internet access ... but the point was to get away from all that.

We rented a lovely little cottage along the river, had fires each night and cooked smores. More than once, I thought to myself, capture this moment, tuck it away, I want to remember this forever. It was all in all a very lovely time. This is a view from our cottage.

We also took the time, although, not anywhere near enough time, to visit our niece in Laramie. She is beautiful, intelligent and very grounded. We are quite proud of her and wish we had arranged to spend more time there ... the time went by so fast. I feel so old and grown up.

Long time no blogging

I just realized that it has been over a month since I last blogged. Time flies when one is doing manual labor in one's garden getting it ready for planting. I now have tomatoes plants, pepper plants, turnips sprouts, garlic and radishes pushing up through the dark earth demanding my attention. Water! Fertilizer! Pick this bug off me! and I gladly comply. As a reward, my tomato and pepper plants have already set fruit.

I came home last week to discover that my azalea bush was in full bloom. Eye popping pink blossoms! The day was gray, overcast and misty and the flowers had drops of water on their petals. Here is a closeup.

I'm still traveling a lot to Florida for work. Back and forth. Whatever the weather is like in Austin for the 2-3 days before I leave, that's what it's like in Tampa for the time I'm there. It's a little odd experiencing the same weather over ... dejavu

On Feb 14 in Tampa, I woke up with a little cough that by noon was an all consuming, bone cracking, eyeball popping cough. It laid me low for well over a week. Just a measly dry cough ... not even the flu! Aren't you glad I didn't blog about that?!!

Accepting and making space

I was lazyily driving home yesterday after seeing my massage therapist (hence the lazy part) when I had to stop at a stop light. Since I was taking the back roads home so I could drive slowly, I knew it would be a long light. I took the opportunity to look around and my attention was drawn to birds on a highline wire. They were perfectly spaced as if a ruler had marked their spots. Other birds were flying around and one of them landed smack dab in the middle of the line. It caused a ripple effect to the left and the right as the birds adjusted to the new member of the wire flock until they were all perfectly spaced again. If I had not seen if for myself, I would never have known that just seconds before there was one less bird.

If this was one of Aesop's Fables, the moral would have something to do with personal space, acceptance of others even when they upset the status quo, and making space for others.

Thanks Mother Nature, for the reminder.

86

Recently, very early one morning, I was traveling through the Tampa airport and stopped at a restaurant for a meal. The plate I wanted came with potatoes which I didn't want. Being groggy, I slipped back many years and told the waitress to "86 the potatoes". She looked at me with some amazement and said "how'd you know that term?". Her question woke me up and I told her I had been a waitress while in college. Her response was "Cool!". And she was very nice and attentive the rest of the time I was there.

It got me to reminiscing about my younger years. I refuse to say the good ole days ... but man ... what a time that was!!! Hanging out for HOURS at the Broadway Drug store drinking coffee and studying and waxing philosophic, solving the problems of the world and debating what it all meant; living on beans and rice, loving waiting tables because I got to eat something besides beans and rice. And the house (duplex actually) on 14th Street. Ah man, it was an ancient house, had an old small stable in the back with a dead and rusting Studebaker and we'd find chunks of coal in the storm cellar under the house where they used to store the coal used to heat it before gas was available. And adopting any cats that came around ... feeding them on a platform made from an Earth, TX city limits sign that someone swiped, the sign suspended on a tree so they could eat without the neighbor's dogs bothering them. We'd ring Mimi's bells and the cats would come running. And ... , I digress...

Anyway, it also caused me to ponder where the term "86" originated. So I googled it and here is the answer from the Urban Dictionary - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=86 the definition and how the term came into being.

Personal space, airplanes and being passive agressive

Anyone who cannot afford to fly First class on an airplane in recent years knows that personal space on airplanes is all but non-existent. About the only true personal space is where your feet are.

This evening on a flight from Austin to Tampa, the man in front of me reclined his seat into what I consider my personal space bubble. The back of his seat was so close to my face that I could literally SMELL his hair ... and believe me, it was not a pleasant smell. Forget using the tray table, forget not bumping his seat when getting out to use the restroom. And truthfully, I may have bumped it a little more than was actually necessary. Especially after I politely asked him to not recline it so far since it was in my face ... he declined to adjust his seat. So every time I reached into the seat back pocket, I exaggeratedly bumped the seat back. I read my newspaper resting it on the top of his seat back and yes, his head.

It was probably not a very nice thing to do ... probably petty ... but it made me feel better none the less ... especially because I asked nicely for my space back.

I hardly ever recline on planes. When I do, I tell the person behind me before I recline and ask them to please let me know if they need more space or to get out of their seat.

Photos of Rancho Bernardo Inn

Rancho Bernardo Inn - decorated for Christmas.A few days ago I got around to uploading the pictures I took at the Rancho Bernardo Inn back in December. I was surprised to discover that many of the photos I took were of the fountains around the property. On Friday while I was there, I had a massage, then lunch with my niece and then just walked around the property taking pictures. Apparently, I the pictures I took were almost entirely of the fountains and other water features. I wonder what I was thinking and feeling that made me focus unknowingly on the water. Here are some of the pictures.

Random thoughts and questions

Why do waiters give a single woman dining alone less service than a single man? I tip more than single men do unless the waitress is a cute young thing.

why do people feel the need to "one up"?

why don't we do away with the primary system method of selecting who will be candidates for president? By the time the primaries are held in western states, many of the candidates have dropped out. Why not just have one election and do a runoff if needed.

why does stress make us eat?

speaking of eating ... my scaredy-cat actually caught a mouse last night...in our living room. ugh! this is the first mouse we've had in 17 years ... must be those people that just moved in next door ... brought it with them.

on the road ... I miss my husband and cats ... especially when waking up in the morning with them next to me

I worry some about my niece who is serving in the military.

Life is what it is.

Been a while

I realized recently that it had been a while since I blogged. It's not that I was busy with the holidays or anything. I just succumbed to the gray days of winter. I danced a gig on the Winter Solstice because that day meant that the days would be getting longer.

I had a wonderful retreat at the Rancho Bernardo Inn in California. A wonderful serene place surrounded on all sides by suburbia. The fires in California did not touch the inn very much ... just a few singes here and there. While there, my niece who lives in the area came to the inn for lunch. It was wonderful to see her. She moved to California with a friend and has no support system there, no family. I admire her bravery. She has a strong sense of self and is a confident young woman.

I was dismayed by the recent assassination of Bhutto. How sad a world is it in which a person's passion can lead to their death.