Period of transition

Listening to Van Morrison's A Period of Transition. It's not one of my favs, but fits sometimes ... like now. I'm struggling at a cross road ... more a y really since there are only 2 ways to go. Which way do I veer? It's time to do a semi-major face lift to my house, my home. Outdated and worn cabinets in kitchen and baths. We've been thinking about updating them for a couple of years and had decided that this would be the year to do it. The discussion of what and how has uncovered a bigger decision that was simmering under the surface. Do we stay or do we go?

Is it better to fix/update the cabinets or is it time to find a new place that will be where we stay for the next 20 years? We've been in this house for 20 years. We love it and have made it our own with paint, wall paper, and saltillo tile. But we are getting older and the sunken living room that was one of the things that drew us to the house 20 years ago looms now as a possible liability. Knees don't bend like they used to or they give way at the most inopportune time. What happens if my husband stumbles on the step to the living room and falls and breaks something. Rehab at a place not home until he can handle the step? It hurts to even think about that. So do we leave the cabinets as is and find a one level house? Do we do minimal less expensive cabinets so that it will be updated so that in a few years if we have to move the outdated cabinets will not reduce what we get for the house?

I don't know the answer. I just know that this feels like one of those major points in one's life that becomes a bigger dot on the life line ... a decision point ... a period of transition.

Olympic National Forest

I realized that I have not posted pictures that I took during my vacation in October to the Olympic National Forest. Normally when I'm on vacation, I take my computer and post as I go. But where we stayed in the forest, there was not even cell phone coverage! So here are some photos ... better late than never.

This first one is of the Lodge at Lake Quinault where we stayed.

This next one is of a water fall near the lake.

I'm not at all sure how this one is going to how up. We were taking a drive around the lake and it was dusk. We stopped to take a photo of a waterfall and just stood for a minute soaking in the quite sounds of the forest. We looked forward and back and were completely alone. I took this photo hoping to capture some of the feelings we had. ... a long a deserted back woods path.

This one was taken along the coast.

This is the cabin we stayed at when we visited Sol Duc Hot Springs. In the evening, the deer would come right up to the porch looking for a hand out.

Here I was trying to capture the simply awesome light that was coming through the clouds at Sol Duc.

A new year - one month gone

I was just emailing a friend that I had found again on Facebook when I realized that it has been months since I've blogged. Oh, well, that's what happens in life.

I was very moved during the inaugration and am still very hopeful. This in spite of working very closely with someone who is addicted to talk radio. Whenever I have to ride with her, she has the radio on. It is quite offensive to me. I've not said anything to her, but have tried subtle hints, like turning it down and starting a conversation. Her response is to turn it back up and converse over the radio. There has to be some way to handle this, but I'm at a loss to say what it is.

I'm being successful with losing weight (42 lbs so far) and am quite pleased with that. Now I'm working on fixing the new image of myself in my brain. A whole new realm of possibly has opened to me in terms of clothing and it is a little hard to get my head around that. I need new clothes because nothing fits. I go to the store and go to the area I'm used to shopping in, pick up smaller sizes and try them on only to discover they too are too big. So there is this whole other area that I'm shopping in. Many many more choices. So I'm having to sort of reinvent myself. What is my style now? Very odd feelings.

So that's my posting. I'll make an effort to get back into blogging.

A new day dawns

I stayed up late last night watching the election news. An historic election. I was struck by the contrast of the people who gathered to hear the candidates speak one last time. The small McCain crowd was by invitation only at the exclusive Biltmore Hotel. Numerous times when McCain spoke there were cat-calls and boos when President-elect Obama's name was mentioned. In contrast, the large Obama crowd was gathered at a public park, open to any who wanted to be there. When he was speaking, the crowd was hushed and respectful, except near the end when it was echoing his "Yes, we can!".

I am hopeful for America for the first time in many years. Does the election of our first Black president mean that race prejudice is gone? I don't think so, but I believe it means that we are now able to look past a person's skin color to other qualities. Race prejudice will linger for a while longer like a brain-dead accident victim on life support. Someday, it will give up the fight and let go. We can help it by speaking out when we see and hear disparaging remarks and racial slurs.

Recently when I was in Houston, I stopped at a gas station. After a few minutes I became aware of an altercation going on between a white man and a black woman. I have no idea what precipitated the argument and in truth, that doesn't matter. What matters is the white man drove off while spouting vile and hateful racial epitaphs. To me, it doesn't matter what caused it to get started, there is no place in polite society for the phrases he used.

I've thought of that situation many times since then and wish that I had stepped up to tell him that he was out of line speaking that way. I think fear held me back at the time. I've wished that I had at least spoken to the woman to let her know that not all white people are like that. I didn't, but I'm hopeful for the future that such incidents will become fewer and fewer as we become a more respectful and soft spoken nation. I know it can be that way because I saw that last night as a man gave his first remarks as President-elect to a mixed race, mixed sex, mixed socioeconomic, hushed and respectful crowd.

Random thoughts on a beautiful Fall day

We took our annual October vacation a few weeks ago and I've been on the road since then. We visited the Olympic National Forest. An truly awesome place where one can feel what it might have been like 200 years ago. I want to go back. I will go back. I didn't post any pictures because there was no internet where we were. No phones in the rooms, no cell phone signal, no tv... just quiet and time to be alone with each other and our thoughts.

The election is a few days a way and I am so hopeful and fearful at the same time. America will be a very different place on November 5 ... well, actually January 20, 2009 (the end of an error and hopefully not the start of another error)

I fixed the bird feeder so that the squirrels could not get into it and boy are they pissed!!!

I planted tomatoes hoping for a Fall crop. The plants are healthy and blooming. But no tomatoes. I'm concerned that there are no pollinators (dead bee colony syndrome) and worry about what that would mean for all of the food sources across the world.

Found a bee in my kitchen and ever so gently captured it and released it on one of the tomato blooms.

Another Fall

I was up early and spent some time meditating on the patio and followed that with some yoga. I reflected on how Spring and Fall are my favorite times of the year. There is something about the quality of light and how it dapples through the trees that really touches me. The air feels different and there is a different energy in the air. In the Fall, it seems as if everything is slowing down, powering down, getting into hibernate mode. In the Spring, the energy feels different in that it seems as if everything is waking up, stretching and powering up.

Colors become more vibrant in the Fall as leaves and grass turn. My yard that was all green and brown (tree trunks) becomes more yellow, gold, and russet. Winter takes the color away and we are left with a world that is varying shades of gray with a little sepia.

In the Spring, things begin to green again. The perennials I've planted over the years start to bloom and I always add annuals.

One constant between the two seasons is the hummingbirds that frequent my feeders. Little bundles of green life flitting and hovering.

Fall is here

Sitting in my office and I look out the window and see falling leaves and a hummingbird at the feeder. It's Fall. The days are getting shorter. The weather is very pleasant. And I wonder ... why am I in here instead of out there?